Today is an exciting day. My father is in town on an impromptu visit. This visit comes after having reconciled years of unanswered questions, hurts and disappointments. Although I have seen my him sporadically throughout the years, this visit will be very different. It's been over 7 years since we last saw each other face to face. But, in this post, I really want to reflect more on what the Lord did in this life-changing event. As a child, I never knew why my dad left. During family gatherings I would hear bits and pieces of others perception on why he left, but never really the truth of the story. For me, I dealt with the agony of the unanswered questions; "Why didn't he stay?" Why didn't he give me a chance?" Why didn't he want to get to know me?" Over time, those questions just laid dormant and I went on with my life.
I can recall incidents that would take place in my life and I would find myself reflecting back on the fact that he was never there. You see, when things like this takes place in a person's life; it is going to effect them no matter what you do to try to make it better. The absence of a father has a lot of impact. It is the father who instills identity in to his children. He is responsible for letting that child know who they are and what their purpose will be in life. I am not taking away anything from mothers, I am just referencing the guidelines of God's word. You see, I never heard the words; "this is who you are, this is the plan the Lord has for you, you are beautiful." From a father! For years, I longed to have a relationship with my father, especially as a little girl. I wanted to know how it felt to be his princess, and jump on his lap, or tell the boys who were messing with me at school, "I'm going to tell my dad, if you don't leave me alone." A father prevents you from falling into the trap of choosing the wrong guy. Before I knew the Lord, I would cry to him asking him to make things better-to bring my dad back!
When I think about the Lord and how he was in the midst of things when I didn't even know Him - I am truly grateful. You see, my dad may have never came back when I was a child. But the Lord was still there to protect me and comfort me as a father would. There are situations that I can look back on that took place in my life and see where the Lord's hand was on me. Situations that my friends got caught up in, that I didn't. Times that I made choices and decisions that should have destroyed my life ... the Lord provided a way out. The nights I cried myself to sleep, he gave me peace the next morning.
36 years later, the Lord still has his hand on me. When I experienced an encounter with the Lord during these past 3 years, he brought back to memory the times when I cried out to Him, and He healed me from the hurt. He did a work in my heart that gave me the courage to love and forgive. My pastor taught me to 'Live life as no one owes me anything' it gave me the breakthrough that I needed. You see, the Lord took care of me for all of these years, HE, was a father to me! And even though HE did that, He still gave me the desires of my heart ... to reconcile things with my father.
It is because of HIS love for me, that, I have forgiven my father and we are building our relationship. No, it won't be like that of a little girl with her daddy. But, it will be a daughter and a father who has peace in their hearts and we are now getting to know each other; our likes and dislikes, are commonalities and differences. Our relationship won't stand on hurt and disappointment, but, will grow from forgiveness. The Lord's love for me, has allowed me to love my father and required nothing of him. I am excited for this visit. I am excited for the opportunity to love again, and I am amazed by the love of God and how he has always thought about me.
I want to share this part of my life with you, because, I want you to find hope in the Lord the way that I did. I want you to be reminded that, even though, things don't work out the way that we want them to, HE, is still a healer and desires to reconcile things for us. I want you to be encourage to step out in faith, to believe for your broken relationship. I want to encourage you to recognize his grace! I will share part 2 of this life-changing event tomorrow. Be blessed and encouraged today.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
I can recall incidents that would take place in my life and I would find myself reflecting back on the fact that he was never there. You see, when things like this takes place in a person's life; it is going to effect them no matter what you do to try to make it better. The absence of a father has a lot of impact. It is the father who instills identity in to his children. He is responsible for letting that child know who they are and what their purpose will be in life. I am not taking away anything from mothers, I am just referencing the guidelines of God's word. You see, I never heard the words; "this is who you are, this is the plan the Lord has for you, you are beautiful." From a father! For years, I longed to have a relationship with my father, especially as a little girl. I wanted to know how it felt to be his princess, and jump on his lap, or tell the boys who were messing with me at school, "I'm going to tell my dad, if you don't leave me alone." A father prevents you from falling into the trap of choosing the wrong guy. Before I knew the Lord, I would cry to him asking him to make things better-to bring my dad back!
When I think about the Lord and how he was in the midst of things when I didn't even know Him - I am truly grateful. You see, my dad may have never came back when I was a child. But the Lord was still there to protect me and comfort me as a father would. There are situations that I can look back on that took place in my life and see where the Lord's hand was on me. Situations that my friends got caught up in, that I didn't. Times that I made choices and decisions that should have destroyed my life ... the Lord provided a way out. The nights I cried myself to sleep, he gave me peace the next morning.
36 years later, the Lord still has his hand on me. When I experienced an encounter with the Lord during these past 3 years, he brought back to memory the times when I cried out to Him, and He healed me from the hurt. He did a work in my heart that gave me the courage to love and forgive. My pastor taught me to 'Live life as no one owes me anything' it gave me the breakthrough that I needed. You see, the Lord took care of me for all of these years, HE, was a father to me! And even though HE did that, He still gave me the desires of my heart ... to reconcile things with my father.
It is because of HIS love for me, that, I have forgiven my father and we are building our relationship. No, it won't be like that of a little girl with her daddy. But, it will be a daughter and a father who has peace in their hearts and we are now getting to know each other; our likes and dislikes, are commonalities and differences. Our relationship won't stand on hurt and disappointment, but, will grow from forgiveness. The Lord's love for me, has allowed me to love my father and required nothing of him. I am excited for this visit. I am excited for the opportunity to love again, and I am amazed by the love of God and how he has always thought about me.
I want to share this part of my life with you, because, I want you to find hope in the Lord the way that I did. I want you to be reminded that, even though, things don't work out the way that we want them to, HE, is still a healer and desires to reconcile things for us. I want you to be encourage to step out in faith, to believe for your broken relationship. I want to encourage you to recognize his grace! I will share part 2 of this life-changing event tomorrow. Be blessed and encouraged today.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
Tynisha I am rejoicing with you and for you. I just recently reconciled with my father for Thanksgiving, after not speaking to him or seeing him for 19 years! The Lord has restored us to walk out forgivenesses with our fathers, He has prepared us to give them the gift of love without bitterness! I am VERY HAPPY for you!
ReplyDeletePraise God Ericka on your testimony! It's something how we can go years, thinking that the past is the past and it doesn't matter. But then, when we allow God to intervene, he makes things so relevant. Your right, a gift of love ... priceless!
DeleteAmen and amen! From a mama who fears for her daddy-less daughters, I hear your words that I pray everyday. That our Heavenly Father is their protector and provider, a provider of all answers. When my husband went to heaven, it took a while for me to grieve for my girls. And coming to that has been painful, very. This is reminder for me today...thank you for this blessing and I love hearing your story of reconciliation in your heart! Katie
ReplyDeleteKatie, for years, I thought no one heard my cry, or saw my tears. I had convinced myself, this was life, and this was the way it was going to be. But, on this journey with the Lord, HE has showed me; HE heard me, and HE saw me. Because, things were happening spiritually and they weren't tangible to me, I couldn't recognize it, I was looking for the wrong solution. What's so awesome about your testimony, is that, you and Kevin set your family on a Christian foundation. And Kevin, being a God-fearing man, left his daughters with his love and the love of a father ... the Lord. During their toughest times, they will be able to recognize God's love; it will be familiar, it will be that like their father's. And for that you will always be able to find peace. Thank you so much for displaying the Lord's healing power in your life. I continue to be blessed by your life.
DeleteThat was food to my soul. I just finished talking with the Lord about this very thing and thanking Him for always filling in the gap for my dad. My fathered died some years ago and because we had not had the chance to reconcile, I did not attend the funeral. I was still angry, hurt, and very much disappointed in the choices that I thought he made concerning me. I resented him. However, through revival I have learned to appreciate that even though my biological father may not have been there, my Heavenly father stood in the gap. I have forgiven my biological father and although he is no longer physically here, I love him.
ReplyDeleteAmen Michelle! I just continue to be amazed by the power of the Holy Spirit. He can do, what no man can EVER do. I am also encouraged by your CHOICE to forgive and not let that situation pass along with your father, as so many others do. To God be the Glory.
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