A Father's Love (Part 2)

At 7:03 the doorbell rang.  In just a matter of seconds, every emotion stirred up inside of me; I was nervous, excited, anxious and I began to feel overwhelmed.  This was it - my dad had arrived.  Before I went downstairs, I said, "Lord, you are in control, let your peace be in all of us."  When I got downstairs, hugs were already being exchanged between my dad and the kids; my boys had never seen or met him before.  My daughter vaguely remembered him from a visit when she was just 5 years old.  As they cleared the way and moved aside; it was now time for me and my dad to engage one another.  What would it feel like to hug him? was the thought that ran quickly through my mind.  This show of affection would be different from the ones in the past.  It comes after the fact that we have reconciled things.  We embraced one another, and although it wasn't a long embrace, it was comforting, it felt right, and it was real.  And right then, I knew, the Lord was in controlled !!!

My dad looked the same, older, but the same.  He took interest to the kids (his grand-kids) right away.  He was captured by the energy of my boys (especially my little one), and he couldn't stop looking at my daughter.  He kept repeating to me, "she looks just like you, she's your twin."  For a moment, I stopped and wondered; what is he thinking when he looks at them?  Is he wondering if the boys like sports? Will one of them play baseball, like he did?  When he looks at my daughter, is he reflecting on me, trying to picture if that's how I looked and acted at her age? Was he thinking about all the time that had past, and all that he missed?  What were his thoughts, his emotions, his feelings?

As we sat around the dinner table, we enjoyed sharing stories and learning more about one another. It was good to hear my dad laugh with so much joy, a laugh that I had never heard before. Our dinner felt like Thanksgiving.  The Lord's presence was just moving about among us, and, it felt good.  I found myself at times staring at my dad when he was quiet and other conversations were going on around us.  He was happy and peaceful.  He was in my home, with me, and the moment was priceless! We ended our time with pictures ... keepsakes, that will forever represent God's Glory in all of this! As we took pictures, it was like, mentally I could run through my mind, every stages of my life; one picture represented me as a little girl, another as a teenager, and the one in the present moment; a daughter all grown up.

This life changing event with my dad, has taught me so much about forgiveness.  I have learned that when you CHOOSE to forgive; you now give the Lord full access to reconcile things in your life.  In your state of vulnerability, you, become strong; by his love for you.  You gain access to a 'peace' that is only accessible through the Holy Spirit.  You now live life with a freedom that has been given By  HIS Grace.  The past seems like a moment and the present is now the future.  And in this present moment, I am loving my dad ... unconditionally; with no expectations, no regrets, no hurt and disappointment.  And in this moment, there is peace; there is no awkwardness; he is my dad, and his embrace of a father feels good!!!

I am grateful to the Lord for what he has done.  For 36 years, HE gave me a father's love. HE protected me, HE provided for me, HE loved me. It was the Lord who prepared me for this moment; HE made sure, that when the time came, I would recognize a father's love and it would settle well in me. 

It has been a blessing for me to share this part of my life with you.  What the Lord has done in my life, is unimaginable in the human mind.  HIS word has been made real through my deliverance and healing. HE has shown me how easy it is to trust HIM.  Everyday, I bass in his presence. Thank you Lord; that YOU are a father to the fatherless, that you loved me, when I didn't feel worthy, that ... NEVER ONCE DID I EVER WALK ALONE ...

Remember, surrender all...
Tynisha