Growth!

It's a bitter cold morning,but the sun is shining and I am excited for what the week will bring.  Yesterday our family was home together due to Martin Luther King Jr. birthday.  It's not often that we are all home on holidays or when school is out; so we do our best to make the most of it.  Normally I would plan for us to do something or go somewhere to make the most of our time with dad.  My husband works 6 days a week (a very physical job, outside), so a day off with him is truly a blessing.  This time, I didn't make plans. We just chose to have a day at home.

After our late breakfast, I decided I was going to go to the store. I asked my husband if he wanted to go. After going through his normal survey with me; what store? to buy what? how long are you going to be there? etc. He gave me a slow "yes." But, by the time I got upstairs to get ready, he was like; "how long are you going to be there? and what are you going for again?" That's code for; I really don't want to go. So I was like, "ooooh no, you better stay here, because I can't have you going and you are rushing me in 10 minutes!"

Now, let me just be real. I was actually proud of myself for the way that I handled this situation. Because the old me, would have said what I said with an attitude and then put everything else into. My response would have been something like this; (in my attitude voice); "you know what, just stay here, but, I'm going to remember that." I would have had an attitude for a week. I'm just being real ...  And don't even think about getting close to me! The old me was a mess!!!

But, you know what I have learned? That's manipulation! And that's sin! A person has a right to decide if they want to do something and change their mind if need be.  But because I wasn't going to get my way, I was going to take it somewhere it didn't need to go.  I can remember so many times, when I would start an argument or manipulate my husband into doing something and he would just go along - all for the sake of "keeping the peace." Wives, that is not fair or biblical.  I use to take things through the ringer with my husband, because, all I thought about was me.  My husband, is a smart man.  He knew, Okay, if she is only going to one store (and she has a coupon) we are going to be in there for a minute.  He also had an appointment that evening and didn't want to be gone most of the day and return just in time to leave again. Let me just tell you, my husband learned real quick to stop doing things just to keep the peace. He was not happy about his choices; letting me operate in our marriage this way.  And he knew it was not of God either! I am thankful for his relationship with the Lord and the decision to show me when I am in error.  

When I said it was okay, it meant it. It was okay.  I knew that I would get in that store and take my time and he would be there, mad; because I was taking up the whole day. Yes, I wanted to spend time with him, but if that time was going to consist of us arguing, and now I have an attitude for the rest of the week; who was it going to benefit and was it worth it! I am learning to consider the feelings of others (especially my husband) and humble myself, and not operate in manipulation.  This behavior was difficult for me to correct; I had to first grow in my relationship with the Lord and first learn how to submit to HIM, before, I could even submit to my husband. Whenever I would try to change on my own; things would fall apart instantly.  My poor husband, at that time, he probably was like "Lord, who have I married, she is a trip!" But to God be the glory for HIS GRACE and Mercy!

So our day ended well and my husband came home earlier than expected and we were still able to spend time together.  It helps to get yourself out of the way and think of others first.

Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha