The weekend has arrived!!! It has been a great week. As a mother, I continue to learn how important balance is and making the time to be watchful over my kids. My oldest son encountered a situation yesterday among his friends. It involved your typical arguing among each other and misunderstanding. However, it was how my son handled the situation that alarmed me and my husband. All three of our children our different, unique and special in their own way; just as I am sure your children are to you. The situation that our son was in, didn't harm him, but, it did make him feel like he didn't have a voice and he felt alone.
Now, you could look at the situation from different angles; kids will be kids, maybe he was just having a bad day, maybe he needed a nap, etc. But again, because you know your children, you know when certain things or behaviors are out of the norm. As his parents, we have to be watchful and take a MOMENT and say, "this is unusual, what is the ROOT cause of this situation. Immediately, my husband said to me; "he felt alone". He didn't feel alone among his friends, yes, the situation caused for him to react that way, but, the trigger was set off by the fact that he felt alone among us, his family. My son is a personable kid, he makes friends well and has a heart for everyone.
On the drive home, the Holy Spirit began to talk to me and show me how my son was and has been feeling. You see; it's doesn't matter how many children you have, 1, 2, 3 or whatever. There can still be times when that child feels alone. My husband and I do our best to keep our family close and give the attention needed to all of our children; we set aside family time, laugh and play, have dinner together throughout the week and listen about their day. But, if I can be real here, lately, we have missed the ball somewhere and our son has felt disconnected. Growing up, I was the middle child like my son is. I had an older brother, and a younger sister. When there is an older sibling or child, that child tends to get the "1st born attention". This child was the first in the family, maybe even the first grandchild, so this child gets the 1st of everything. And the your second child is born, and they are now the baby; they bring the new parent feeling all over again. But, maybe now you have a 3rd or 4th child, and now that child is the baby; so now that second child is no longer the baby. The attention now shifts. Not intentionally, but, it does shift.
It's times like this, when I am truly grateful of the Holy Spirit in my life. Giving me that check and causing me to take caution. If I didn't have that; I would have handle the situation differently; blowing it off or getting upset with my son and punishing him for his reaction. But instead, I was able to be watchful and see, that my son was hurting. So on our way home, I talked with my son, asking him his thoughts on why he thinks he reacted the way he did. Being 7, your only going to communicate the height of your feelings. He said he was frustrated and wanted the situation to stop, and I listened to that. I also told him that, I agreed with him being frustrated but also believed that he was feeling left out at home, and his dad and I was going to do a better job of setting aside more time for him and even being more watchful of his needs. I apologized and asked him for his forgiveness. Now, that may throw someone off; to apologize to a child and ask for their forgiveness. And if you are the parent who won't exam yourself and take the time to see where your shortcomings are in a situation, this is unacceptable to you. But, I have learned that your children need to see you vulnerable at times and in a place of humility.
At the beginning of the year; the Lord spoke to me concerning my son and told me to spend even more time with him. And to give more focus regarding him. Being in tune with the Lord, and heeding to his instruction is all apart of growing in your relationship with HIM. I had not started setting aside that time, but, because of HIS GRACE, he gave me a warning; reminding me of what needs to take place. If we are not watchful over our kids, we will cause them to take certain feelings and behaviors with them through life; hindering them and maybe even preventing them from living a full life, the way God intended.
I encourage you to be watchful today (everyday) of your children; is there something that has been sitting on your mind and heart? Whether you knew it was a mention from the Holy Spirit or not, take heed, and follow through. Let us not be the fall of our children.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
Now, you could look at the situation from different angles; kids will be kids, maybe he was just having a bad day, maybe he needed a nap, etc. But again, because you know your children, you know when certain things or behaviors are out of the norm. As his parents, we have to be watchful and take a MOMENT and say, "this is unusual, what is the ROOT cause of this situation. Immediately, my husband said to me; "he felt alone". He didn't feel alone among his friends, yes, the situation caused for him to react that way, but, the trigger was set off by the fact that he felt alone among us, his family. My son is a personable kid, he makes friends well and has a heart for everyone.
On the drive home, the Holy Spirit began to talk to me and show me how my son was and has been feeling. You see; it's doesn't matter how many children you have, 1, 2, 3 or whatever. There can still be times when that child feels alone. My husband and I do our best to keep our family close and give the attention needed to all of our children; we set aside family time, laugh and play, have dinner together throughout the week and listen about their day. But, if I can be real here, lately, we have missed the ball somewhere and our son has felt disconnected. Growing up, I was the middle child like my son is. I had an older brother, and a younger sister. When there is an older sibling or child, that child tends to get the "1st born attention". This child was the first in the family, maybe even the first grandchild, so this child gets the 1st of everything. And the your second child is born, and they are now the baby; they bring the new parent feeling all over again. But, maybe now you have a 3rd or 4th child, and now that child is the baby; so now that second child is no longer the baby. The attention now shifts. Not intentionally, but, it does shift.
It's times like this, when I am truly grateful of the Holy Spirit in my life. Giving me that check and causing me to take caution. If I didn't have that; I would have handle the situation differently; blowing it off or getting upset with my son and punishing him for his reaction. But instead, I was able to be watchful and see, that my son was hurting. So on our way home, I talked with my son, asking him his thoughts on why he thinks he reacted the way he did. Being 7, your only going to communicate the height of your feelings. He said he was frustrated and wanted the situation to stop, and I listened to that. I also told him that, I agreed with him being frustrated but also believed that he was feeling left out at home, and his dad and I was going to do a better job of setting aside more time for him and even being more watchful of his needs. I apologized and asked him for his forgiveness. Now, that may throw someone off; to apologize to a child and ask for their forgiveness. And if you are the parent who won't exam yourself and take the time to see where your shortcomings are in a situation, this is unacceptable to you. But, I have learned that your children need to see you vulnerable at times and in a place of humility.
At the beginning of the year; the Lord spoke to me concerning my son and told me to spend even more time with him. And to give more focus regarding him. Being in tune with the Lord, and heeding to his instruction is all apart of growing in your relationship with HIM. I had not started setting aside that time, but, because of HIS GRACE, he gave me a warning; reminding me of what needs to take place. If we are not watchful over our kids, we will cause them to take certain feelings and behaviors with them through life; hindering them and maybe even preventing them from living a full life, the way God intended.
I encourage you to be watchful today (everyday) of your children; is there something that has been sitting on your mind and heart? Whether you knew it was a mention from the Holy Spirit or not, take heed, and follow through. Let us not be the fall of our children.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
Great Post! It is so essential, that we as parents, not only look "at" situations, but look "into" them as well. Often times we pick the fruit, which will only grow back (resurface,) if the cause is not truly uprooted. Good Stuff Tynisha!
ReplyDelete