Yesterday I was ministering to my daughter about communication, specifically about GOSSIPING. If you noticed, I used the term "ministering" I've learned through the ministry that my family and I are dedicated members to, that, you don't have to be a preacher or a minister of the Gospel to minister to people, especially our children. To minister to someone, means you are simply attending to their needs. As she is growing and flowing through her teenage years, I've noticed her style of communication, which on the levels of academics and mannerism, its in tact. Her casual conversation among her friends is even friendly. The red flags come up when a situation of some type has taken place and now she is in a position of defense and trying to prove her point, or she feels the need to express her opinion, where it's not needed. That's when we now cross over to the Gossip side of communication.
I am a people-person. I like to think that the Lord has given me that gift to interact with people, encourage people, be charismatic with people and even communicate well with people. However, during the early phases of my life, my communication was tainted. While I chatted with people, made them laugh at times and even encouraged them through challenging times; there was still that hum of my communication that was wrong.
I reflect on this time when I was just a child, maybe 5th or 6th grade. My friends and I were outside and we went over to another friend's house; it was a boy who liked me at the time. And somehow, his mother and I began to argue. Here I am, trying to be CUTE and COOL (and totally out of my place in regards to respect) in front of my friends; I found myself totally disrespecting this woman ... somebody mother! Fast-forwarding about 17 years, I ran into her and her husband at a mutual friend's wedding. Granted I would see her occasionally throughout the years, but it wasn't until, I was an adult, who had received Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior, and married with my own family that I was convicted to right my wrong with her. Like always, she greeted me with love and kindness, but my next words to her were "I am so sorry for that day, please forgive me" You see, the easy thing would have been to never speak of that incident and just ride off of the grace she had given me. The person that I was before my salvation would have done just that. But, I wasn't that person anymore and I WANTED to make things right. Throughout that night, the Lord gave me the opportunity to share with her about my walk with him and the ministry that we attend. For me, had I not humbled my self and took the opportunity to move through his grace, that door would have never been opened. Who knows, it could have been just what she needed.
I can account for so many times where my tongue was so loose; on jobs, putting myself above my superiors and even losing some of those jobs, in friendships; hurting my friends feelings because I was hurt. With my mother, because our relationship was so broken, I just didn't even know how to talk to her like a daughter, instead I would communicate with her like she was my enemy ... words hurt!!!
So when I see my daughter mimicking some of those traits, I don't take that lightly. Gossip, can usher you into a lonely and dark place. You will look around and wonder how you got there and not realize that it was YOU that caused the damage. All with just your tongue! She doesn't always need to justify things or her actions, vengeance is the Lords'!!! Even when you think it's harmless when asking someone to help your recall a situation or help validate you, you are still manipulating the situation and gossiping. You don't always need to give an opinion. I have to help her now, because, had someone helped me when I was just a young girl, so much "blood" could have been saved.
Gossip was one of the urns that I took to the alter for repentance, deliverance and forgiveness. My tongue was definitely that of a two-edge sword and even though it spoke life at times, it brought so much death. I'm grateful to the Lord for his grace and mercies. It is truly "By His Grace" that I am saved!
I encourage you today, as you plan out your day, take a moment and think about "what is on your tongue" Trust God, to give you a new language with a revised vocabulary that speaks life and not death.
Remember, surrender all...
Tynisha
I am a people-person. I like to think that the Lord has given me that gift to interact with people, encourage people, be charismatic with people and even communicate well with people. However, during the early phases of my life, my communication was tainted. While I chatted with people, made them laugh at times and even encouraged them through challenging times; there was still that hum of my communication that was wrong.
I reflect on this time when I was just a child, maybe 5th or 6th grade. My friends and I were outside and we went over to another friend's house; it was a boy who liked me at the time. And somehow, his mother and I began to argue. Here I am, trying to be CUTE and COOL (and totally out of my place in regards to respect) in front of my friends; I found myself totally disrespecting this woman ... somebody mother! Fast-forwarding about 17 years, I ran into her and her husband at a mutual friend's wedding. Granted I would see her occasionally throughout the years, but it wasn't until, I was an adult, who had received Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior, and married with my own family that I was convicted to right my wrong with her. Like always, she greeted me with love and kindness, but my next words to her were "I am so sorry for that day, please forgive me" You see, the easy thing would have been to never speak of that incident and just ride off of the grace she had given me. The person that I was before my salvation would have done just that. But, I wasn't that person anymore and I WANTED to make things right. Throughout that night, the Lord gave me the opportunity to share with her about my walk with him and the ministry that we attend. For me, had I not humbled my self and took the opportunity to move through his grace, that door would have never been opened. Who knows, it could have been just what she needed.
I can account for so many times where my tongue was so loose; on jobs, putting myself above my superiors and even losing some of those jobs, in friendships; hurting my friends feelings because I was hurt. With my mother, because our relationship was so broken, I just didn't even know how to talk to her like a daughter, instead I would communicate with her like she was my enemy ... words hurt!!!
So when I see my daughter mimicking some of those traits, I don't take that lightly. Gossip, can usher you into a lonely and dark place. You will look around and wonder how you got there and not realize that it was YOU that caused the damage. All with just your tongue! She doesn't always need to justify things or her actions, vengeance is the Lords'!!! Even when you think it's harmless when asking someone to help your recall a situation or help validate you, you are still manipulating the situation and gossiping. You don't always need to give an opinion. I have to help her now, because, had someone helped me when I was just a young girl, so much "blood" could have been saved.
Gossip was one of the urns that I took to the alter for repentance, deliverance and forgiveness. My tongue was definitely that of a two-edge sword and even though it spoke life at times, it brought so much death. I'm grateful to the Lord for his grace and mercies. It is truly "By His Grace" that I am saved!
I encourage you today, as you plan out your day, take a moment and think about "what is on your tongue" Trust God, to give you a new language with a revised vocabulary that speaks life and not death.
Remember, surrender all...
Tynisha
This is so on point! As women we carry so much influence in our actions and in our speech! I am so glad that you pointed out that our Lord says our words can either bring life or death. This is a choice! Thank you, Tynisha, for encouraging me to choose to speak LIFE in EVERY person that I come across!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I just want to say that I thank God that He used you to create this blog! It is so transparent, refreshing, and encouraging! Tynisha, thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your journey with God.
ReplyDeleteLife and death is in the power of the tongue! It is amazing how such a small organ can have so much power! Too often we use our tongue to tear down, degrade, reject, and judge which brings about death whether it be spiritual, emotional, or in the most extreme cases, physical.
As Karla stated, in her comments, we have to make a choice about what is released from our mouths and into the lives of others. You know the age-old saying, "stick and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you!” To the contrary, words not only hurt they can destroy. Therefore, henceforth I will decide to use my words to uplift, encourage, love, and inspire!
This is a great point! I just happened to click through and see this post this morning....after a long and challenging day with my little girls yesterday. This blessed me today reminding me that the way I talk to them is a gift to them...as I minister as their mother. Amen and Amen!
ReplyDeleteAH! This was SUCH a great post! A huge boulder that hit me. I struggle with that often, being VERY defensive. Always needing people to see my side. Always needing to get my point across. Wow. Thanks for this!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing! This is encouragement for me to examine how I communicate with others, most importantly my daughter, sister, and mom. I have been deceived into thinking that I have every right to defend my point of view, never caring about the impact that has had on others. Thanks Tynisha for opening up about this topic that can destroy so many of our most precious and valuable relationships.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!! I really needed this today.
ReplyDelete