It's a beautiful snowy Saturday morning and things remain peaceful all around me. As you know, I am a teacher and I have the privilege of teaching me daughter for some of her classes. And for the ones that I don't, I will still review and help her with her assignments. There is a class that I am not her teacher for, but, I enjoy looking over her work. It's her Communications class. My daughter writes and speaks very well. The Lord has blessed her with that talent, and it continues to flourish.
This particular writing piece was different than any she had written before. She had to write about something personal. I had reviewed some of the other student's papers, and they all shared on different things. When I casually asked to see hers, I wasn't expecting what I read. She was sharing about a time in her life when she was starting into her teen years and how she struggled with low self esteem.
My daughter is a very beautiful young lady. She's complimented all the time on her naturally enhanced features and her cute physique. By reading her paper, I was able to see through her eyes, how she saw herself, at that time in her life; a time when so many teenagers struggle with identity. I can remember during this time, our morning spats about her wearing certain things. Some mornings there would be a melt down. I caught on later that she was struggling with low self esteem and that she also had a classmate who was adding to the problem and making open comments about her. I would remind her that she was pretty and it was okay to be different; to wear glasses, have braces, have a different color skin-tone and hair type. That God had not made a mistake in how she looked.
Over the years, I have seen her maneuver through these road blocks. Along the way she has had to find balance. When you get to the place where you are comfortable with yourself; you now need to know how to properly display it and represent it in a modest picture. Gaining self esteem takes a process, and , like with any new change, you want to make sure that the change is healthy. When my daughter was starting to gain confidence about herself, and because she had struggled with feeling ugly; any compliment would feed her ego. Before she got to a healthy place, she first battled 'vanity.' We went from not having any confidence, to having, too much confidence. It was starting to really affect the way she carried and handled herself. She was very self-focused, and at times there was no filter in her thoughts about herself. As her mother, I allowed the arguments to take place about changing what she was wearing. While I was happy to see she had moved into a different direction, she was still missing the balance. We would go rounds and rounds with her having to change her look for the day.
In this post, I don't want to try to take credit for something that has more to do with my daughter getting to the place where she sought the Lord and allowed him to make her over. In her paper, she gives 3 steps on "loving the skin you're in." I was so blessed to read this ... She first talked about accepting your skin; the color of it and how you should treated it with care; not trying to harm it, by cutting yourself, or covering it up with make up, or judging it. She referenced the scripture; Psalm 139:15, being fearfully and wonderfully made in the Lord ... God is not a God of mistakes. Her 2nd point talked about acknowledging that you are different, and the benefits in that. Her 3rd point was so good, because she provided ways for the girl who is struggling with low self esteem; how to accentuate your features. Encouraging the creation of your own style and flowing in that; daring to be different.
My daughter has gotten to a healthy place in loving her skin, being different, and expressing her creativity. I am so proud of the decisions and choices that she is making; through her own relationship with Christ. As a parent, you wonder, if what you have said, or what you have done, has made a difference in that moment. I am careful of how I offer my assistance or suggestions to her, because, I know she has struggled with low self esteem, and it will always sit on the shelf; hoping she will pick it back up. I encourage her difference and I compliment her strength. It took a lot for her to get to this place.
My baby girl is growing up, and she is growing up in the Lord. I am so proud of her and so thankful to the Lord, for giving her to me. I pray that I have been a good example, a picture frame; that she can look at. And I am so blessed that she knew to turn to the Lord to find her identity. I love you, baby girl, here's mom, rejoicing in the Lord. I am so proud of where your walk with the Lord is taking that you are learning to surrender to him.
Today, I am following in the foot steps of my daughter; and I am "loving the skin that I am in."
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
This particular writing piece was different than any she had written before. She had to write about something personal. I had reviewed some of the other student's papers, and they all shared on different things. When I casually asked to see hers, I wasn't expecting what I read. She was sharing about a time in her life when she was starting into her teen years and how she struggled with low self esteem.
My daughter is a very beautiful young lady. She's complimented all the time on her naturally enhanced features and her cute physique. By reading her paper, I was able to see through her eyes, how she saw herself, at that time in her life; a time when so many teenagers struggle with identity. I can remember during this time, our morning spats about her wearing certain things. Some mornings there would be a melt down. I caught on later that she was struggling with low self esteem and that she also had a classmate who was adding to the problem and making open comments about her. I would remind her that she was pretty and it was okay to be different; to wear glasses, have braces, have a different color skin-tone and hair type. That God had not made a mistake in how she looked.
Over the years, I have seen her maneuver through these road blocks. Along the way she has had to find balance. When you get to the place where you are comfortable with yourself; you now need to know how to properly display it and represent it in a modest picture. Gaining self esteem takes a process, and , like with any new change, you want to make sure that the change is healthy. When my daughter was starting to gain confidence about herself, and because she had struggled with feeling ugly; any compliment would feed her ego. Before she got to a healthy place, she first battled 'vanity.' We went from not having any confidence, to having, too much confidence. It was starting to really affect the way she carried and handled herself. She was very self-focused, and at times there was no filter in her thoughts about herself. As her mother, I allowed the arguments to take place about changing what she was wearing. While I was happy to see she had moved into a different direction, she was still missing the balance. We would go rounds and rounds with her having to change her look for the day.
In this post, I don't want to try to take credit for something that has more to do with my daughter getting to the place where she sought the Lord and allowed him to make her over. In her paper, she gives 3 steps on "loving the skin you're in." I was so blessed to read this ... She first talked about accepting your skin; the color of it and how you should treated it with care; not trying to harm it, by cutting yourself, or covering it up with make up, or judging it. She referenced the scripture; Psalm 139:15, being fearfully and wonderfully made in the Lord ... God is not a God of mistakes. Her 2nd point talked about acknowledging that you are different, and the benefits in that. Her 3rd point was so good, because she provided ways for the girl who is struggling with low self esteem; how to accentuate your features. Encouraging the creation of your own style and flowing in that; daring to be different.
My daughter has gotten to a healthy place in loving her skin, being different, and expressing her creativity. I am so proud of the decisions and choices that she is making; through her own relationship with Christ. As a parent, you wonder, if what you have said, or what you have done, has made a difference in that moment. I am careful of how I offer my assistance or suggestions to her, because, I know she has struggled with low self esteem, and it will always sit on the shelf; hoping she will pick it back up. I encourage her difference and I compliment her strength. It took a lot for her to get to this place.
My baby girl is growing up, and she is growing up in the Lord. I am so proud of her and so thankful to the Lord, for giving her to me. I pray that I have been a good example, a picture frame; that she can look at. And I am so blessed that she knew to turn to the Lord to find her identity. I love you, baby girl, here's mom, rejoicing in the Lord. I am so proud of where your walk with the Lord is taking that you are learning to surrender to him.
Today, I am following in the foot steps of my daughter; and I am "loving the skin that I am in."
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
Tynisha, so many of our young people and even some adult struggle with loving who/how God created them. I watch it so often in the public schools system, whether it is covering themselves with make-up or clothing that is too revealing/ tight etc. Society has painted a distorted picture of what, who is beautiful, and unfortunately it is based on a skin color, physical shape, hair texture etc. I always encourage our youth to LOVE God's creation because when you do not you are indirectly stating that HE made some sort of mistake in your creation. I know that it is all easier said than done, but we as Christians have to begin encouraging instead of tearing down because someone is DIFFERENT.
ReplyDeleteGod and my niece battled and won two bought with cancer and in the process, she lost an eye. She is in her late twenties. As a result, she suffered with low self-esteem. I remember telling her, “Niece, God doesn't make any mistakes. Embrace the creation that He has made!" After seeking the Lord, her creator, she is doing just that. She now has a fb page called “MY BEAUTIFUL IS DIFFERENT"
I am so blessed by this blog Tynisha! Keep them coming.
Michelle, Wow! What a story and testimony about your niece. I love "My Beautiful Is Different" it speaks to the individuality that the Lord has given us. Thank you for always sharing and your continual support. Keep pressing in the Lord.
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