What Are Your Reactions Towards Others?

My family and I enjoyed a great 3-day weekend.  My husband and I attended the "Love and Respect" marriage conference that our church hosted, it was AWESOME!  We learned how women speak "pink" and men speak "blue" and that there is no wrong or right, but, that we are different and it's okay to be different.  I also learned about unconditional respect and how that is what the Lord requires of wives to give to their husbands ... that spoke volumes! I look forward to expounding on this in future posts to come. We also celebrated our oldest son's birthday early with a mini-getaway and a visit to one of his favorite places, Lego-land.

Although we had a great weekend as a married couple and family, this weekend also showed me how far I have come when it comes to my reaction towards others.  The Lord has really shown me a lot of mercy when it comes to the way I react in situations that I have no control over.  And He has also given me the grace (strength) for me to see my part in things and how to handle them differently. I am an individual who use to always need to; have the last say, diagnose the problem, tell others what they were doing wrong and how they should fix their behavior, especially if it effected me.  But during the process of God dealing with me, He showed me how I was in error and my focal point needed to be on myself and not others.  Worry about the way that I was responding and reacting to others ... that's a hard thing to do! Especially if you are pumped up with pride and you feel like you are always right.  You even justify how your reactions are needed because of the behavior of others.  But the truth of the matter is; the only impact that your reaction has on that person or situation, is the ability to fuel it even more and cause that person to resent you.

I am learning that we can not change people, only God can do that.  Yes, by walking and behaving in a positive light, you can assist with the encouragement of others, but, you can't change them.  So I now understand why, I can suggest or tell my husband something and he doesn't always receive it.  But if the same thing is said to him by our pastor or someone else that he has a good relationship with and respects, he receives it. I use to think that it was because he could care less about what I had to say, or he didn't like me.  But, when I really step back and think about how I was saying it and in what way I was presenting it; I was being accusatory, condescending and mean. I wouldn't have listen either.  I also recognized that, if my husband was in a bad mood, or was treating me in a manner that I didn't appreciate. I would react! Trying to tell him about himself and how he needed to fix his attitude. I was in error big time!  There is a proper way to share your feelings and concerns, being forceful is not the way. 

I can't control the way people treat me, but, I can control the way that I react towards them.  Being healed from rejection and delivered from pride, I am learning that my responses towards others is just as important as their responses towards me.  The way that I react, is what the Lord is going to deal with me on.  There were situations that came up throughout the weekend that could have prompted me to revert back to my old ways and react in a manner that would have be displeasing to the Lord and offensive to others.  But, if I am committed to walking out my deliverance and living a life of total surrender; I can't afford to fall off the wagon just to get my point across. When you are being treated unfairly, you still have to make the CHOICE to react with patience, love and kindness.  Now, I am not saying that I am perfect, I'm not and there are times when I fall prey to the past.  And although I didn't react how I use to in the past.  There were still somethings that I could have done even better and I am working on them. The conviction of the Holy Spirit helps me to do that. I also want to make sure that I am not reacting differently just to make the other person feel bad, or so I can say, "see, I'm not the one that's wrong." If you think about that saying, "kill em with kindness", I agree that being kind to others has the potential to help others change their behavior towards you.  But, if you are doing it with a prideful intent so you can show them in a negative light and pat yourself on the back for being better; you are still in error and you are being manipulative. If I choice to react to others differently and show kindness to them, even if they are not returning it to me. It's because, I understand that I am not God, I can not change them, and I have no control over their actions and behaviors.  And I am also learning that, everything is not about me, even if it is effecting me.

So when we choose to react differently, let's do it with the understanding that the Lord is in control, and we will be held accountable to our behavior.

Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha