Who Are You Renting To?

Do you ever stop to think about the people who are in your life and how much of your life they occupy. From time to time that thought comes across my mind.  More so if I am looking up someone's phone number or I come across them on social media. Over the years I have lost contact with friends and even purged people from my social media feeds.  The lost of contact didn't have so much to do with a falling-out, as much as it did with just growing apart.  Throughout life we all change and go our separate ways.  And for the ones that I did have to purge and not keep in contact with, that choice was made because I had changed and their place in my life needed to change. When I think about friendships and relationships past and present, I think about the amount of space they had or have in my life.

I am learning how to function in my relationships with people.  How to have healthy and balanced relationships. What and how much access to give.  For years, many of the relationships that I engaged in, were draining and unbalanced.  The expectations of others had me on the "hamster wheel" and I was going round and round trying to attend to the needs of everyone.  Encourage this person, comfort that person, help this person.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  It is when you now become that person's life-line that makes the relationship unbalanced. We are suppose to encourage and comfort one another, but in a way where you both are strengthen.  I can recall friendships where I let things get out of hand in regards to how much access people had to me.  I would get disturbing voice-mails from individuals who tried calling me and didn't make contact.  Because I didn't answer their call right away or maybe they had to leave 2 messages. They were upset and expressed their frustration of not being able to get a hold of me.  That put a lot of pressure on me and strain on the friendship. Many of these people had spouses and families and I felt like the place that they held me in their lives, was a place where their spouse, family or Lord should have been.

Getting to the place where I had to recognize that things needed to change in the way that I interact with people and how much access they had to me.  The Lord through my pastor helped me to see and understand why I was "renting" space and how much space I was giving to individuals.  I had to ask myself, "why do I allow people to have those expectations of me?" "Why did I need to have those type of relationships and what were they feeding in my life?" Well, it all goes back to pride! I like the fact that I could help people and make their decisions for them.  But, let me tell you what's wrong in that.  When we are helping our friends, loved ones, co-workers, whomever.  In that help we should be directing them to the Lord for their guidance and answers. Our encouragement should be that in the Lord. Those unhealthy relationships were set on an open-ended foundation. It always led them back to me, thus, now building a unhealthy relationship.  Truth be told, if you are suffering from any lack in your own life, you desire to be needed and wanted by others.  So you allow these type of interactions.

Today, I am careful of the relationships and friendships that I have with others.  Careful of how much access they have in my life. How much space they occupy.  I'm involved in relationships and friendships that are 2-fold with a focus and emphasis on the Lord. Through God's delivering power, there is no lack to be filled, no desired to control other people's lives. It took for the Lord to be in my life and restructuring it for me to get to this place.  When I surrendered, I made the choice to allow Him to reveal to me the areas in my life that were not pure and healthy.  And that included everything.  Our lives are attached to purpose and destiny given by the Lord.  If we choose to let it be occupied by people and things that block the way for these things to come to pass, our being defaults to a "stand-still" state.  Think of the people you are renting to; do you need to serve some eviction notices (with love).  Is there enough space available for the Holy Spirit to dwell in your life?

Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha