Heartburn!!!

I typically don't post on weekends, however, I really felt led to share with you today.  This morning I woke up with really bad heartburn. This week my eating habits haven't been the best. I have been eating late and the foods that I have eaten (right before bed), have consisted of caffeine, chocolate, and fatty foods.  So this morning when I woke and I could barely move because of the discomfort, I immediately started thinking about my intake throughout the week. I was now dealing with the consequences of the choices that I had made throughout the week.

For 2 days straight, I have craved Funyun chips and pop, red pop to be exact :0 And the flip side of this, I am so not a pop drinker!  But I desired these foods and I fulfilled these cravings. So, here I am this morning, downing Pepto-Bismol, a glass of milk, Beano, and anything else that could give me release.  I was trying to correct the mistake that I had made of eating the wrong foods and eating them too late. 

So I take this experience and relate it to other experiences that I have had in my life; where I have made choices to do things that I knew would not be the best decision to make and would not be good for me and try to come back and clean it up later. The heartburn is the after-effect of the wrong decision. It is the sting, the reminder that I quenched the thirst of my flesh, and that moment, came with a long-term effect. I really desire to get to a place in my life, where I don't give into the desires of my flesh.  Where I will remember the consequences and not try to convince myself, "if I got through it once, I can get through it again." Repenting and not sinning anymore.  And I know we are born in sin-nature, but I still desire to get to the place where I am not a repeated offender when it comes to willingly fulfilling the flesh.  Like, going shopping and buying something because it was on sale, or I had a really good coupon.  All just to come back later and regret the purchase. Or now, I can't do something that I really needed to do or buy, because, for a moment, I needed to please my flesh.

For me, this morning, the heartburn was the after-math of my poor choices.  And just like anything you desire to change (after the fact) here I am scrounging to find a remedy for release.  I reflect back on times where I mismanaged my money buying and spending money on things that I really didn't need. For me, it was designer handbags. I would spend money quickly on a new handbag; carrying it over the weekend, feeling great and not even caring that I was broke and the wallet that was inside of it was empty.  But then, the heartburn came.  Monday morning would come and now I am feeling the sting and discomfort of the fact that I have no money; nothing for gas, nothing for food and now I am short on my rent!

Truth is, we get heartburn all the time, some times more than we want to. I think about the times when I would lash out as a child at my mother, the heartburn would be the feeling of knowing that I said hurtful things to her and we were driving a wedge between one another.  Arguing with my husband and calling out all of his shortcomings, the heartburn was the conscious thought of tearing his man-hood down.  Or putting my needs above my family, their desire to have more time with me, was my heartburn.  I knew the consequences that came with my choices, but in that moment, I wanted what I wanted; I desired to fulfill my flesh.

I want to encourage you, think about the consequences, think about the heartburn. Is the minutes of pleasure really worth the burning, the tight and closed chest and the ongoing regret of wishing you hadn't done it in the first place?  I'm grateful to the Lord, because, He will bring back to remembrance the poor choices that we have made in the past, not to condemn us, but to remind us ... after this, there will be HEARTBURN!

Remember, surrender all...
Tynisha