Reconcile

I am continuing to learn from the situation of reconciling things with my father.  I think for me, I am at a place in my life where I want, I need for things to be taken care of ... Reconciled!  At 36 years old, married now for 11 years with 3 kids, there are certain things that I don't want hanging in the balance of my life.  Although, I had gotten to a place of forgiveness towards my dad and I had no expectations of him reaching out to me, when the situation presented itself and the Lord provided an opportunity to do so, my dad and I reconciled things.  For where I am at in my life today, I desire to settle things with people or situations in my life.  I have been talking with my husband lately about choices and decisions that need to be made, things that need to be reconciled.  I want to reconcile if I will continue in the teaching profession or not. I don't want my career to be hanging in the balance. If this is going to be it, then there are other steps that I need to take.  And if not, then, I need to get on a new path and settle that the new path is what will be the career for me.  We are deciding if we will add to our family, that needs to be reconcile.  I understand that things will come up in life and our plans can be altered.  But, I also understand that, when things aren't hanging in the balance of life, life seems to run much smoother and easier.

Why continue to ignore certain friendships and relationships that need closure.  Reconciling won't always mean that there will be a settlement, but, there can be an acceptance.  An acceptance that maybe others will not or can not forgive even though you forgave them.  An acceptance that there are some mistakes that can't be corrected. Acceptance that you don't see, today, what you have been believing for.  Acceptance that the Lord is moving on your behalf and working out your situation, even if it doesn't seem that way.  Acceptance that a relationship didn't work out.  Acceptance, that today, your son or daughter is living a life that you don't agree with.  You see, I have to accept that my daughter is continuing to make choices that are not the best.  It doesn't mean that I stop loving her, stop praying for her, stop believing for breakthrough for her; I just accept the fact that today, these are her choices.  In doing that, I also accept that my complete trust should and needs to be in the Lord.  So while life is still moving and I am maturing in age,  I am choosing to reconcile.  I desire a different relationship with my siblings.  I accept that it can't be on a certain terms, but, it doesn't have to be non-existent either.  I am accepting that there are things that took place in my life and whether I agree with them or not, they can't be undone. 

Last year, I reconciled certain goals and desires that I have for my life.  You see, when you allow the Lord full access to your life, you loose your life.  Not physically, but, you surrender it over to the Lord as ransom for His Glory to be shown. I started re-prioritizing and rearranging things in my life.  I was getting ready to make some decisions that I had not sought the Lord on. And those decisions would have been life changing for me and my family.  But, after going before the Lord and getting His say on things,  I set those goals and desires aside.  Those choices would have taken me away from my family.  My availability to them would have been minimum to none.  My boys would grow up right before my eyes and I wouldn't even notice.  My presence in my daughter's life is very critically during this time in her life.  She can't afford for me to be absent in her life, whether she sees that or not and agrees with it or not.  I couldn't bear the thought of my son who feels he is called at the age of 8 to be a pastor, to come up to me one day and ask me, "mommie, why didn't you stick around to help me with my dreams? "Was I not important?"  As a mother, I couldn't bear that cross! So, I reconciled and laid aside my dreams, so I can watch my children accomplish theirs.  And today, I have so much peace about that decision! My life is lining up and balancing out.  And the more I continue to reconcile things, the more, I see the fullness of God in my life.

I go back to the phone call with my dad.  The phone call that made all the difference in my life today. The call that brought reconciliation.  I'm 36 years old, and even though I am an adult raising my own kids, to reconcile with my father was priceless! I want to encourage you today...Reconcile.  Get to a place where you are settled with things and people and you are accepting things for what they are.  There is a level of peace that is unreachable without reconciliation. The Lord offers grace (strength) and mercy to us so that we can reconcile.

Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha