As a teacher, your job consist of more than just teaching. Actually, I would say that, the biggest portion of my job does not have to do with teaching; much of it deals with motivating, encouraging, mentoring and ministering to students. The lines of connection for learning is an easy link for students to connect to and even if they are a student that performs below or at average, with effort and dedication, the connection can still be made. They don't struggle with trying to solve the equation "Pi r (2)" or scoring a perfect score of a 36 on their ACT; it's more complicated than that and it has to deal with the very essence of them finding their place in this world.
Day after day, I watch the younger generation struggle with; who they are, choosing the not the right friends, but the ones who will just accept them and struggle with fitting in socially. For many (not all), I watch them tread this journey of education with only the financial support of their parents. They are void of encouragement and motivation from the corners of their homes. For some, when they enter the time capsule of the last 4 years of general/secondary education; 4 years until graduation, 4 years until they are 18 years old, 4 years until they can be responsible for themselves and no longer have to been under the direction of their parents, 4 years and the world considers them an adult, but mentally and emotionally, they have not developed past adolescence.
When I think about my 4 years; I reflect on how after my freshmen year in high school, my home was no longer a permanent residence; as my mom and I could no longer tolerate one another and the words "get out of my house" became our family's theme song. I bounced around between my home and the home of my friends. Things were so unstable. And the times when I was home, it was drama and chaos. These 4 years of my life were depressing, unguided, and I was without so much hope for the future.
As we are nearing the end of the school year and students are sharing with me that they are not returning for another school year ... my heart is heavy. Not just because they are not coming back, but, because of the reasons for their withdrawal. As a parent, I know and sympathize with any parent when it comes to hardship, especially financial hardship. The drought of the economy has affect us all and I even understand that seasons in a person's or family life can change and cause for other decisions to be made.
But, what I can't understand is how we as parents can make the decision to remove ourselves from our children's lives to make the load of decisions lighter. As I hear my students tell me that their parents have left it up to them to make the decision of where they would like to attend school, who they would like to live with (sibling, friend, etc.) for the next 4 years of their life. I believe that our children have an opinion and should be able to give that and it be taken in consideration. However, if we really stop to look and consider things; they are not just making the choice of attending a different school, having more opportunity at athletics, the choices and decisions that are made will shape their future and have an impact on their lives.
How do we allow a 13 year old and or even a 16 year old to make the "final decision" when it comes to their future. At this age and during these stages of their lives; they are just trying to be accepted by their friends, grow into their bodies, find out who they are and what they like. So how can they consciously with mature reasoning make a decision that big? If only someone would have taken responsibility for me and not take the easy way out. If someone really would have wanted to know what I thought and what I I truly wanted, if I just could have had the love and support of a parent ... maybe, just maybe, my life would have turned out differently and maybe, I wouldn't have had to endure all that I did during that time of my life.
I have been a single-parent and I am now a co-parent and in both of those roles; I know what it is like to struggle to make ends meet, struggle to keep things in order, struggle to find the strength to endure each day, struggle through depression, disappointments and failure ... I know! But, I also know what it feels like to have to take your life in your own hands and try to function in this adult and progressive world, when you just want to be a kid and figure things out. I know what it feels like to have to swallow the words of your parents telling you "your on your own." Yes, our children THINK they know what's best for them and yes at times, they THINK that their way is the best way, but as parents, we have to guide them. I thought I knew what was best for me, I thought I was strong enough to make it on my own, but, when I stared that day in the face, when I came home from school and my mom told me she was moving into a smaller place and I would have to find somewhere else to live ... I suddenly felt like I was 10 years old all over again; scared and unsure of my future.
Parenting has it challenges and at times we can feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. But, if I can just be real and frank; we made the choice and decision to have our children and they are an inheritance from the Lord Psalm 127:3 and I am convinced that the Lord would not put something so precious in our hands to love, nurture and guide through life, without His help. As a parent I have learned that the I can't do this in my own strength; when I am at the edge, I have to hold on to His wings to keep from falling and I can't lean on to my own understanding when it comes to making decisions and choices for my children lives.
I want to encourage us today as parents; let us not rush the lives of those that the Lord has entrusted us with and for those children that you can be there for and be a blessing to ... cease the moment. 1 decision, 1 day spent in the wrong place, 1 moment given to prematurely ... can and will determine their future. The Lord has provided us with His word as our parenting guide and He is a limitless resource. Maybe our parents weren't there for us, but we can be there for our children. By His Grace we have all made it this far, at the end of the course is His Glory, continue the race, we are not without hope! Trust God for the future of your children.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
Day after day, I watch the younger generation struggle with; who they are, choosing the not the right friends, but the ones who will just accept them and struggle with fitting in socially. For many (not all), I watch them tread this journey of education with only the financial support of their parents. They are void of encouragement and motivation from the corners of their homes. For some, when they enter the time capsule of the last 4 years of general/secondary education; 4 years until graduation, 4 years until they are 18 years old, 4 years until they can be responsible for themselves and no longer have to been under the direction of their parents, 4 years and the world considers them an adult, but mentally and emotionally, they have not developed past adolescence.
When I think about my 4 years; I reflect on how after my freshmen year in high school, my home was no longer a permanent residence; as my mom and I could no longer tolerate one another and the words "get out of my house" became our family's theme song. I bounced around between my home and the home of my friends. Things were so unstable. And the times when I was home, it was drama and chaos. These 4 years of my life were depressing, unguided, and I was without so much hope for the future.
As we are nearing the end of the school year and students are sharing with me that they are not returning for another school year ... my heart is heavy. Not just because they are not coming back, but, because of the reasons for their withdrawal. As a parent, I know and sympathize with any parent when it comes to hardship, especially financial hardship. The drought of the economy has affect us all and I even understand that seasons in a person's or family life can change and cause for other decisions to be made.
But, what I can't understand is how we as parents can make the decision to remove ourselves from our children's lives to make the load of decisions lighter. As I hear my students tell me that their parents have left it up to them to make the decision of where they would like to attend school, who they would like to live with (sibling, friend, etc.) for the next 4 years of their life. I believe that our children have an opinion and should be able to give that and it be taken in consideration. However, if we really stop to look and consider things; they are not just making the choice of attending a different school, having more opportunity at athletics, the choices and decisions that are made will shape their future and have an impact on their lives.
How do we allow a 13 year old and or even a 16 year old to make the "final decision" when it comes to their future. At this age and during these stages of their lives; they are just trying to be accepted by their friends, grow into their bodies, find out who they are and what they like. So how can they consciously with mature reasoning make a decision that big? If only someone would have taken responsibility for me and not take the easy way out. If someone really would have wanted to know what I thought and what I I truly wanted, if I just could have had the love and support of a parent ... maybe, just maybe, my life would have turned out differently and maybe, I wouldn't have had to endure all that I did during that time of my life.
I have been a single-parent and I am now a co-parent and in both of those roles; I know what it is like to struggle to make ends meet, struggle to keep things in order, struggle to find the strength to endure each day, struggle through depression, disappointments and failure ... I know! But, I also know what it feels like to have to take your life in your own hands and try to function in this adult and progressive world, when you just want to be a kid and figure things out. I know what it feels like to have to swallow the words of your parents telling you "your on your own." Yes, our children THINK they know what's best for them and yes at times, they THINK that their way is the best way, but as parents, we have to guide them. I thought I knew what was best for me, I thought I was strong enough to make it on my own, but, when I stared that day in the face, when I came home from school and my mom told me she was moving into a smaller place and I would have to find somewhere else to live ... I suddenly felt like I was 10 years old all over again; scared and unsure of my future.
Parenting has it challenges and at times we can feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. But, if I can just be real and frank; we made the choice and decision to have our children and they are an inheritance from the Lord Psalm 127:3 and I am convinced that the Lord would not put something so precious in our hands to love, nurture and guide through life, without His help. As a parent I have learned that the I can't do this in my own strength; when I am at the edge, I have to hold on to His wings to keep from falling and I can't lean on to my own understanding when it comes to making decisions and choices for my children lives.
I want to encourage us today as parents; let us not rush the lives of those that the Lord has entrusted us with and for those children that you can be there for and be a blessing to ... cease the moment. 1 decision, 1 day spent in the wrong place, 1 moment given to prematurely ... can and will determine their future. The Lord has provided us with His word as our parenting guide and He is a limitless resource. Maybe our parents weren't there for us, but we can be there for our children. By His Grace we have all made it this far, at the end of the course is His Glory, continue the race, we are not without hope! Trust God for the future of your children.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
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