Would you say that you are a team player or that you work well in groups with people from all walks of life and different backgrounds? Whether your job calls for you to be a team player with your co-workers or you are a mother or wife; our daily lives require for us to interact and receive the diversity of others. Over the last 9 weeks, our church as taken us through a "Winning with People" leadership class. We learned how to flow in and have healthy relationships with friends, co-workers and family. It's funny because, you think because you are around people everyday, you know how to interact and connect with them...but really, just interact with them and don't CONNECT with them. And when you just interact with people, it's easy for you to just tolerate them and never really build relationship with them. I am grateful for this training because although it trained you on how to connect with others, the focus was on YOU (me)!
As I continue to allow the Lord to do a work in me and show me myself; I see how my past behaviors and choices had a big effect on how I interacted and connected with others. When you struggle with identity issues and you feel like you have no value; it's easy for you to become jealous and envious of others, thus, you mistreat them and you never really make a connection with them. You also start to believe the lie that you aren't worth anything and you don't have anything to offer. In the past, when I would be assigned to work with others on a project or in school if I was a part of a club or on a relay team for track; I would make sure that I had the role or task in the group that would make me shine more. And because the Lord has gifted me with strong leadership skills, I would use that to control everything. In my mind, if I had the lead role, I could control the situation and the outcome. And I would also be the one to receive most of the credit...but "Thank God" for showing me myself and for extending mercy to me so I could see my insecurities and deal with my low self-esteem!
Insecurities are like an assault with a deadly weapon, how?, you might ask. Insecurities destroys your self-esteem; they diminish your self-worth and leave you feeling empty. They become barriers that won't allow to function in your God-given purpose in life. They stare you down everyday and remind you of who you are not and what you can't do. They leave the scars of rejection, disappointment and failure on you. You are always sizing yourself up against the next woman; why doesn't my hair look like that? my eyeshadow doesn't look like that on me, her speech was better than mines; why didn't I talk about that. You find yourself going on and on about what you didn't do right. We convince ourselves that we are not good enough, no matter how many times we receive compliments, we have already bought into the lie that we have no value.
Insecurities have a big impact on how we work in groups with other people. Let me first say that, it wasn't until I found my true identity in Christ that I no longer allowed my insecurities to steer my life. And every now and then, I still have to pick up my identity declarations and confessions and remind myself who I am in Christ. When you don't have a good and solid picture of who you are; it is difficult for you to interact and connect with others. Sure, you can talk with them and on occasion, you may even hang out with them socially, but, in the back of your mind, they have become your enemy; your nice to them and you will even allow yourself to laugh and joke with them, but, because of your insecurities, you don't trust them and you will do any and everything to make sure they don't get the credit or recognition for anything. Our insecurities sow seeds of deception and manipulation in our lives; we make others feel like they are a part of the process and let them think that they are actually contributing to the efforts the group, we will even encourage and motivate them, but, when it's time to display the results; somehow, we find a way to make it seem like we were the only one to contribute anything. And if we really feel threaten by the gifts and talents of others; we will shut them out completely.
When we get to a place of security in the Lord; we don't have to manipulate situations and mistreat others; you understand that everyone has something to bring to the table and offer for the betterment of all who is involved and you embrace their differences. You realize and acknowledge that there is room for everyone in the group. And the big piece of this is that; you understand and recognize that you yourself have weaknesses and where you fall short, the abilities of others help to keep the foundation strong.
I have learned that there are 2 essentials that we need to have when interacting and connecting with people; first, we need to have the mind of Christ, 1 Corinthian 2:16 and understand that He has equipped us with all that we need. And instead of having insecurities, be reassured in the fact that we were created in His image and the work that He has called you to do was prepared in advanced and carved out to flow with your gifts and talents, Ephesians 2:10 I would love to be able to sing, even hold a tune, but I can't and I accept that I don't have that gift. But, I do have a voice and the Lord has gifted me to use my voice to speak to and encourage others. And even though I'm not ministering by song, I can be the one ministering by the words of my testimony.
I want to remind and encourage us that; when we become vulnerable to the Lord and trust Him with our life; He changes our condition of our lives from damage to whole, thus, we can now have healthy, lasting relationships. We understand that we all have our own gifts and talents and our purpose in life has been designed and assigned by Him. We don't need to try to step on the toes of others or interrupt their destiny; for the fear of not tapping into our own. In God's kingdom; there is room for everyone! Be secure in who you are. There is room at the top for everyone and we don't need to hurt others by getting there. Trust God for the plans that He has for you life and remember, you can't do everything and be everywhere.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
As I continue to allow the Lord to do a work in me and show me myself; I see how my past behaviors and choices had a big effect on how I interacted and connected with others. When you struggle with identity issues and you feel like you have no value; it's easy for you to become jealous and envious of others, thus, you mistreat them and you never really make a connection with them. You also start to believe the lie that you aren't worth anything and you don't have anything to offer. In the past, when I would be assigned to work with others on a project or in school if I was a part of a club or on a relay team for track; I would make sure that I had the role or task in the group that would make me shine more. And because the Lord has gifted me with strong leadership skills, I would use that to control everything. In my mind, if I had the lead role, I could control the situation and the outcome. And I would also be the one to receive most of the credit...but "Thank God" for showing me myself and for extending mercy to me so I could see my insecurities and deal with my low self-esteem!
Insecurities are like an assault with a deadly weapon, how?, you might ask. Insecurities destroys your self-esteem; they diminish your self-worth and leave you feeling empty. They become barriers that won't allow to function in your God-given purpose in life. They stare you down everyday and remind you of who you are not and what you can't do. They leave the scars of rejection, disappointment and failure on you. You are always sizing yourself up against the next woman; why doesn't my hair look like that? my eyeshadow doesn't look like that on me, her speech was better than mines; why didn't I talk about that. You find yourself going on and on about what you didn't do right. We convince ourselves that we are not good enough, no matter how many times we receive compliments, we have already bought into the lie that we have no value.
Insecurities have a big impact on how we work in groups with other people. Let me first say that, it wasn't until I found my true identity in Christ that I no longer allowed my insecurities to steer my life. And every now and then, I still have to pick up my identity declarations and confessions and remind myself who I am in Christ. When you don't have a good and solid picture of who you are; it is difficult for you to interact and connect with others. Sure, you can talk with them and on occasion, you may even hang out with them socially, but, in the back of your mind, they have become your enemy; your nice to them and you will even allow yourself to laugh and joke with them, but, because of your insecurities, you don't trust them and you will do any and everything to make sure they don't get the credit or recognition for anything. Our insecurities sow seeds of deception and manipulation in our lives; we make others feel like they are a part of the process and let them think that they are actually contributing to the efforts the group, we will even encourage and motivate them, but, when it's time to display the results; somehow, we find a way to make it seem like we were the only one to contribute anything. And if we really feel threaten by the gifts and talents of others; we will shut them out completely.
When we get to a place of security in the Lord; we don't have to manipulate situations and mistreat others; you understand that everyone has something to bring to the table and offer for the betterment of all who is involved and you embrace their differences. You realize and acknowledge that there is room for everyone in the group. And the big piece of this is that; you understand and recognize that you yourself have weaknesses and where you fall short, the abilities of others help to keep the foundation strong.
I have learned that there are 2 essentials that we need to have when interacting and connecting with people; first, we need to have the mind of Christ, 1 Corinthian 2:16 and understand that He has equipped us with all that we need. And instead of having insecurities, be reassured in the fact that we were created in His image and the work that He has called you to do was prepared in advanced and carved out to flow with your gifts and talents, Ephesians 2:10 I would love to be able to sing, even hold a tune, but I can't and I accept that I don't have that gift. But, I do have a voice and the Lord has gifted me to use my voice to speak to and encourage others. And even though I'm not ministering by song, I can be the one ministering by the words of my testimony.
I want to remind and encourage us that; when we become vulnerable to the Lord and trust Him with our life; He changes our condition of our lives from damage to whole, thus, we can now have healthy, lasting relationships. We understand that we all have our own gifts and talents and our purpose in life has been designed and assigned by Him. We don't need to try to step on the toes of others or interrupt their destiny; for the fear of not tapping into our own. In God's kingdom; there is room for everyone! Be secure in who you are. There is room at the top for everyone and we don't need to hurt others by getting there. Trust God for the plans that He has for you life and remember, you can't do everything and be everywhere.
Remember, surrender all ...
Tynisha
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