You Doing the Most...

As a teacher, one our many benefits is summer break.  And although, the weather here in the mid-west does not reflect the season yet, it has still been enjoyable.  Being a teacher and having school-age children of your own, you are grateful for the time off together during the school year and over summer break.  It's a blessing to be home with my kids and they are able to enjoy their summer break at home.  So what are our plannings for the summer you may ask? Well, brace yourself...NOTHING! And I am prepared to define what nothing looks like.  When I say nothing, what I mean is, there is no strict schedule that I have typed up and it is critical that we stick to it.  What I mean is that, my alarm is not set for 6:00 am.  The goal for this summer is to have a "SIMPLE" summer. 

I was having brunch with a friend the other week and we were sharing what our summers look like for our families.  We also talked about how as moms we put too much pressure on ourselves and when we don't meet the expectations, we are in a crisis.  Now, I will tell you that I am planner and I do my best to stay organized.  So even though my simple summer doesn't come with a list a mile long with things to do and accomplish, there is still order to it.  As moms we have to take a step back and just take the moments for how they come.  We are a busy family (as I am sure you and your family are also); my husband and I both work, I take care of and nurture our children at work and at home, we are dedicated members of the church we attend and very active in serving.  As a family we have learned how to maintain balance and recognize when we need a fine tuning.

In this post I want to encourage you as moms; moms who stay at home with your children, career women and wives, you don't have to do the most to have a good time and enjoy the summer.  What your summer looks like will look very different from what your girl friend or neighbor's summer look like. I stopped COMPARING myself to other women and stopped COMPARING my children to other children.  When I was a single-mom working and having to put my child in daycare, before and after school care and summer camp, I had to find creative ways to spend time with her.  Her and I would do movie night. I would pop some popcorn and we would watch a movie that came out on VHS (at that time) and we would also spend a lot of time with extended family, where she had other cousins her age to play with.  I would also do play-dates with friends.  When I got married and we decided to add to our family, my husband was very consistent about taking vacations and weekend getaways.  During our second child, there was a season when I was a stay-at-home mom and I would spend time with the kids at the park having a picnic and doing play-dates.  Things changed for us a couple of years after that; we joined a new church, had our 3rd child and my career changed. 

When I think about all the transition that our family has gone through with having children and changing careers, there had to been room in our lives and schedules for changes and flexibility.  And I had to recognize that my family is different from the next family.  My boys are easy to please; they are simple, laid back kinda guys. Now my diva, I mean daughter on the other hand, well, she has had to learned to tone things down and just go with the flow and see that fun doesn't have to be all exclusive and luxurious. 

So, going back to this summer, my summer of simplicity.  Well, I don't want you to think that I have not given any thought to what I would like this summer to look like and we are just laying around all day-everyday being bums (although I have had some of those days and it's been wonderful).  There is order and some planning. But, there are no checklists.  I take the days as they come.  Sure, I schedule fellowship dates with friends, outings to the zoo or museum and Six Flags, however, because I have mastered a Six Flags visit, I don't have to really plan too far ahead for it.  We also have a mini-vacation planned for this summer. Each day looks different and has its own dynamic of fun to it.  For my kids, opening up the patio door and playing in the backyard with their things is just as fun as going to the park.  But we do visit various parks in the area because they all offer something different. My husband setting up the swimming pools is our backyard is our on-site water-park adventure and when we want something bigger, we go to the water-park at Six Flags.  Riding bikes and taking walks is definitely a family fun for us.  Doing crafts and watching a movie together, for me and my son Mason, we like to watch Disney movies like "Lemonade Head" together.  Our church also offers various family and kid-friendly outreach programs that we love attending and serving at together as a family.  So although, our time is not generated by a schedule, it definitely can be action-pack with a lot of fun. We also have some down time, where my husband will request that they kids also do some educational things as well.  My son Mason, will complete the pages in his school workbooks that they didn't finish during the school year. My son Milo who is going into K4 this year will review his colors, numbers and alphabet and also learn some sight-words.  Halee is going into her senior year, she is currently away on a government leadership program that she was nominated for and is learning about our government and running for various offices.  She also just complete her first round of ACT testing. And when she returns from her trip, she will continue her college scholarship search and application process. She will also help out at the church and attend our church's ChristLife camp for teens. This week I have set aside some time for daily-devotion with the boys. 1 minute devotions where Mason reads the scripture, I give the devotion points (not a sermon) and Milo says the prayer.  And our praise and worship will come in when we are in the car listening to one of our favorite songs from the various music groups at church; our praise team "Blind to Religion", our all Christian girl rap group "Righteous Noise" and our up and coming children's pastor "Maddie Rey", we all get to worship and offer praise to the Lord from our favorites (look them all up on YouTube). 

Stop putting the pressure on yourself to make sure your kids have this Disney-world summer experience.  When you stop and take the moments and not the minutes, you find that things really do fall in place. You start to own the time and not run up against it.  At the end of my post I am going to list some simple summer activities that all mothers (stay-at-home/working moms) can do. But how and when you do it will look different from the next mother.  These are things that I do with my family and they are easy, fun and affordable, yes affordable.  I did mention that I am off for the summer, however, but I failed to mention that I am off with NO pay, so budget-friendly is key for me. You are a good mom and your kids love you for who you are, not what you can do for them.  They love you when you are being silly dancing around the house trying to do the latest dance moves, they love you when  you cook their favorite meal and even better they can help you make it, they love you when are not on your phone, Facebook, or tablet and they have your undivided attention.  They love you when you are just there.

Schedules, goals and calendars are all good.  They help to maintain balance.  It is when they are prepared with no flexibility that they become a distraction and take the fun out of things.  What good does it do for you to schedule all of these things and now you are running behind on schedule and you are in a crisis.  And we all know, when mom is not happy,  no one is happy.  Stop doing the most and have a simple summer.  As promised, here is a simple list of summer activities to do with your family.  I would love to hear from you on what you tried, what worked for you and even ideas that are not listed on here.

Simple Summer Fun

• Family fun in the backyard grilling and playing games.
• Park-hop; visiting various playgrounds throughout the summer, even if its just for 30 mins. 
• Trip to the farmer's market.
• Purchase Six Flags season tickets and go whenever you want. 1 visit pays for itself.
• $1.00 summer movies at your local movie theater (working moms, you will have to schedule a day off, these are available in the mornings only.
• Ice-cream trip in pajamas to McDonald's or your local ice-cream parlor.
• Free reading groups at the library, they offer morning and evening. 
• Movie night at home (even if you fall asleep it's okay).
• 10 minute crafts, www.pintrest.com has really good ideas.
• Bike riding, you also get  your fitness in for the day :)
• Cooking or baking together, this could get messy, be prepared.
• Church activities or VBS.
• Going to the beach.
• Backyard water-park.
• Free museums and zoos.
• Catching a local softball/baseball game.  So what if you don't know any of the players.  
• Family community service. 
• Have fun, have fun, have fun, have fun, have a SIMPLE summer!!!

Last words of encouragement.  Moms, we are the footprints in our children's lives, we have more influence than their friends and social media.  Our kids having time with us is crucial and they are growing up and getting older everyday.  It's okay to put our kids in summer camps and sports, but remember, those can't be your idea of spending quality time and family fun.  Sure, they are an added bonus because during summer camps they take field trips and make new friends.  Summer sports allow them to keep active and every parent is proud to see their kid play. But, at the end of the day, when camp is over and the game has ended, they are still looking for mom.  Much of our stress as moms and wives come when our expectations are too high. Your are more than just a list.

Have a great SIMPLE summer,
Tynisha